


Double Blind

by ravendiana



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Double proposal, F/M, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Other, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:53:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21857854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravendiana/pseuds/ravendiana
Summary: Christmas at Jasmine Cottage, gifts are given, and two ineffable idiots are trying to surprise each other with proposals.
Relationships: Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Sergeant Shadwell/Madame Tracy (Good Omens)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 68





	Double Blind

Newt was clattering away in the kitchen, getting Christmas dinner ready for a party of 13. They were eating rather later than normal with all the teenage guests, and one preteen, showing up for their second Christmas dinner in one day. Truthfully he was glad of the extra time to cook, as this was a far cry from his usual cooking for two. He could hear his wife on the phone in the next room as she was finishing up the decorations.

“Yes, I’m sure. It will be fine.”

“He is going to love it."A longer pause.

"No, we’ve been over this. It’s perfect. I don’t care if gold is more traditional, he always wears silver, and when has he given a toss about tradition?”

“Now you are just being ridiculous." 

"The book stopped at Armageddon, you are on your own, but don’t worry.”

“If he’s stuck around for 6,000 years already I am fairly sure you are stuck with him.”

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

“I won’t.”

“I will.”

“Look I have another call, it will be FINE." 

Newt was at least 75% sure he knew who the new call would be. It stood to reason really, which was about the only thing about this that did. 

"Yeah?”

“I was just talking to him.”

“I’m absolutely sure he has no idea.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No, I am NOT saying he won’t be interested.”

“I can not over state how sure I am that it will go well.”

“No.”

“Drama Queen.”

“Shut up, you love me.”

“Unhun, fires of eternity, got it. So you don’t want my help anymore?”

“That’s what I thought.”

“Okay, that is definitely not going to be the problem.”

“First of all, can you really imagine him being that materialistic? Secondly, gold is not boring, it’s traditional. He adores traditions.”

“I know the plan.”

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

“It’s already in place.”

“Just get yourselves here in one piece.”

“Okay, bye.”

Newt came out of the kitchen and handed Anathema a glass of sherry that she tossed back in one go. "Were those two conversations what I think they were?“ He asked.

"Most likely, you’re a clever fellow." She smiled at him.

"I can’t figure out if knowing Heaven and Hell are real, and full of such absolute idiots is comforting or terrifying,” he said.  
“Let me know when you figure it out.” Anathema laughed. “I can’t tell either, especially since, from what I’ve heard they are pretty competent, comparatively.”

“Terrifying. Definitely terrifying.”

Christmas dinner was a genial and raucous affair. The Them had not settled at all despite having attained the lofty status of teenagers. Pepper’s seven year old sister tended to be an instigator of mischief, mostly to keep from being ignored. Adam and Warlock were whispering in a corner, which never boded well for anything. The former Mrs. Dowling, now Ms. Carpenter, was keeping an eye on them, in the vain hope of getting in the way of anything too disastrous. Marjorie was telling a heavily edited story from her days as Madame Tracy, while Shadwell was snoring in his chair having eaten nearly his weight in dinner. 

Crowley and Aziraphale were both distracted and fidgety, and were the only ones in the room not to notice how nervous the other was. Anathema was also fidgety, and they were both shooting her warning glares by turn. It was nearly killing her to not start giggling like mad. Eventually, the last of the mince pie was eaten and the brewing disaster in the corner was headed off by poppers and promises of presents. Crowley was even prevailed upon, by virtue of Aziraphale’s pouty face, to wear his paper crown, but only after the bright blue had been traded for red. 

Anathema declared herself “Father Christmas” and passed the gifts out to their intended recipients. The children got theirs first and were thus distracted with new electronics while the adults did their exchange. Warlock stayed while Crowley and Aziraphale opened a hand drawn book about a snake and a rabbit that raised a baby crow, that brought tears to both their eyes. When there were only a few gifts left Newt dragged out a large box in front of Aziraphale and Anathema brought a large flat box to Crowley.

“Crowley, you go first,” she said. 

Crowley tore the brightly colored paper and gaped. All anyone else could see was the wooden outline of a frame. 

“How on earth did you find this? I thought it had been lost!” His voice was almost a whisper.“

A cousin of mine is an art historian. He mentioned it to me. Apparently it’s a highly debated piece, because it looks like a Da Vinci, but there is no signature, so no one can be sure if it’s his or a student’s.”

At Da Vinci’s name Aziraphale’s head snapped up. He looked over at Crowley. "Is that…?“

Crowley nodded. "It’s a real Da Vinci, I remember sitting for it." He turned the painting around. It was two smaller paintings framed together, though it was clear they were meant to be seen as a pair. Anyone who knew them would recognize Crowley and Azirapahle, Crowley holding an apple and Aziraphale holding a scroll. Each of them had their hand on half of a book that transitioned between the two paintings. Aziraphale’s eyes were misty again. 

"I remember as well. It is truly remarkable that you found it." Before they could start tripping over themselves with thanks Anathema chivied Aziraphale to his own present. Inside that paper was a box holding ten identical books. Aziraphale lifted one out. "The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch - 2nd Edition - Annotated." He looked in astonishment at Anathema.

"We reconstituted it from the family collections of index cards. It’s all there along with family guesses about various prophecies and notations when they happened. These ten, plus one for the family, are all that we printed.” She grinned. "You now own the rarest books of completely useless prophecy in the world.“

"My dear, this is a priceless gift! It’s far too generous both of these! Now for your gift! Come here and give me your hands.” She did, looking confused. Crowley got up and came over laying his hands on Aziraphle’s shoulders. "My gift to you, Anathema, and Newt will benefit by it too, is my blessing, for the very best of health for these next eight months. Nothing will harm you and everything will be as easy as possible. Though I do advise leaving the sherry go for a bit, even so.“ She stood looking at him confused for a minute until the implications of his words sunk in, then she pulled her hands to her mouth to cover her happy shriek and turned to Newt who had also just caught on and swept her up and spun her around. When they calmed down a bit Crowley spoke up.

"And I promise that you will have without a doubt the most experienced midwife on the planet. Always felt guilty about the whole business, so I’ve gotten very good at it.” He came over and gave her a hug before going back to his seat. Everyone else had to give their hugs and congratulations to both the parents to be as well. 

“Oh! There are still two gifts left!” Anathema went and took two small boxes from under the tree, and handed one to Aziraphale and the other to Crowley. They each gave her a LOOK but she just smiled at each of them. They each unwrapped the small box. 

“Anathema, I think you got them backwards.”

“Oh dear, this one isn’t for me.”

Aziraphale and Crowley look at each other, both hesitating, but Crowley moves first, crossing the room and holding out the box. “Aziraphale, this is for you,” as soon as he gets close he drops to one knee. 

“You are the light of my world, my angel. We have been through everything together, and together is the way I want to continue. The worst thing that ever happened to me, is the thing that led me to you, and I would Fall again, to be able to be with you. I know it’s a human thing, but we’ve decided that humanity is our side, so Aziraphale, will you marry me?" 

Aziraphale looked down at Crowley, the box in his hand held a golden ring shaped like a snake swallowing its own tail. Its eyes were sapphires and tiny chips of clear stones studded its length. He shot a glance at Anathema, then he also knelt down, even with Crowley and rather than taking the box, held out his own. 

"Crowley, beloved, you have been my guide and guard for longer than I ever realized. You have shown me what it truly means to love unconditionally, for you have always been to me, patient, kind, generous, humble, selfless, forgiving, and possessing a faith in me that I can only hope to be worthy of. There is nothing I want more in this world than to have the singular honor of calling you my husband.”

He took from his box a ring of moonlit silver etched in the shape of a feather. The tip was curled around a deep red ruby and the shaft was inlaid with onyx. They each slid their rings on to the other’s finger, then leaned in for as deep a kiss as the present company would allow. Everyone was laughing and clapping.

“That was the gayest thing I have ever seen,” Adam said. Pepper shot him a horrified glare. "What? Double proposals are peak queer culture!“ That sparked another round of general laughter. 

Crowley stood and helped Aziraphale up as well. He kept his arm around his fiance(!) as he looked at Anathema."You knew, this entire time, didn’t you!”

“It was so hard not to say anything,” she wailed. “You each had almost the exact same plan! And you were both such nervous wrecks over it. The wedding really is going to just be a formality, you two are already the most married beings I have ever met!" 

They couldn’t even deny it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [Waywren Truesong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/waywren/pseuds/Waywren%20Truesong) For the beta and for the idea for Warlock's gift and Anathema's gift to Crowley. For those who don’t recognize it, it’s the painting from the Ineffable edition a description of which can be found [here](https://fuckyeahgoodomens.tumblr.com/post/187194659009/part-2-of-the-ineffable-edition-goodies-portraits)


End file.
